Streams of Consciousness: Canto 3 — Positive Momentum
Written between Thursday, May 30th 2024 and Wednesday, July 17th, 2024
A late summer night thunderstorm. Honoring contemplations, questions, intense feelings…
…(some of these… intense feelings…, like loneliness…. along with the shame… and guilt… related to mistakes made in lost or dwindling relationships… intense feelings like fear… of incompetence and/or lack of self-control… these are tempting a.f. to suppress….)
Taking a breath…I inhale, exhale…honoring energies, vibrations; sexual, financial, political frustrations…
(“Most say Biden should withdraw from the race,” AP NORC says, and the attempted Donald Trump assassination, and I’m thinking about when Billy Joel sings “We Didn’t Start the Fire”)
Honoring prayers, prayers I’m the most deeply committed to, like a thriving, long-term marriage, health, wealth, world peace / peace on Earth… and “all that jazz!”
I felt a sense of intensifying positive momentum…flow…a spark somewhere while rediscovering the marvelousness and beauty and eroticism and other philosophical and spiritual depths of the English language, its grammar, its poetry,…and in the midst of my meditation, Qigong, Yin Yoga, and Tantra practices, my coaches, my professors, mentors, my friends, and family. Two days off in a row. Grounding me a little, yo.
Improving balance, strength, flexibility, focus, imagination, motion, stillness and clarity….clarity in my sense of direction, purpose,…my values and conscience…intuition, confidence…
And so I felt good about these things even when it had been such a thorn in my side for me to wake up in the morning, and I feared poetry and art…and felt so confused about who I wanted to be, who I had been… Meantime here I am now.
My friend introduced me to Tingsha bells. I want to write critically acclaimed best Selling books of poetry — A Philosophy of Eroticism.
Like most nights, I light a candle and incense, do my practices, pray for love and sex, pray for my doggies, friends and family, for justice and virtue.
I tried Serrano and Habanero peppers for the first time, the habanero felt highly charged, shaking, stretching, loosening up, arousing my tongue….
