By any chance might you have glanced at a Dostoevsky page or two? I am reminded of the very opening of his book NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND. "I'm a sick man...I am a wicked man. An unattractive man." Interesting, when we attack ourselves it's as if we've shielded ourselves from those might attack us. Like, you can't offend me when I've already believed this and worse about myself. And you can't disappoint me because since virtually everyone I ever thought a friend perhaps was not, I've come to get used to the lonliness.

Also, I find a sort of dry dark humor when considering the title. The bit of stereotypical white heter male in me thinks, a woman is going to tell me about how she wants to be fucked and do things that people would call sort of up there in terms of kink, but in fact, it would seem that the real fucked up thing that happens in our narrator's thougts is that she justifies the craftiness of her poweful manipulativeness and sort of blames it on her being, supposedly who she supposedly is.

Interesting piece. Thanks for writing.